Deidara Smut (SUPER HARD YAOI!)
by ringaybel
Summary: Deidara gets rejected by Sasori. He realizes there are other ways of pleasuring himself without sasori... (NSFW R18 !)


Deidara entered the his room and dramatically slammed the door behind him. He threw himself onto his bed and shoved his face into the pillow angrly. Why was he so upset? Well thats an easy question to answer. Deidara had been friendzoned again by another succubus...or rather...another _Sasori_cubus.

He had asked Sasori out earlier this morning and he had been turned down. The red haired man didn't even give Deidara an answer as to why he was turning him down. Deidara didn't think he had ever liked a person this much and to be turned down by them was so..heartbreaking.

Deidara was sexually frustrated and upset at the same time. He wanted the puppet D but he could not have it.

"You don't need that red haired twink to be pleased!" A raspy voice said from somewhere. Deidara sat up on his bed and looked around. There was nobody in his room..so where was the voice coming from?

"Hey, you gay piece of shit are you listening to me?" The voice said again. The voice sounded close...Deidara soon realized that the voice was coming from his hands.

What the fuck was happening? His hands had never talked to him before. Deidara thought he was going insane.

"Did you say something to me just now?" Deidara said holding his right hand up.

"Yeah I did." the right hand said. "I said that you dont need that red-haired twink to please yourself you gay piece of shit. ".

Deidara was confused. "How can I please myself without Sasori no Danna?" he asked the right hand. This time the left hand spoke up instead.

"You could always have us make out with eachother like you ususally do." The left hand suggested. Deidara shook his head no. He had done that thousands of times and it was starting to amuse him less and less the more times he did it.

"No that won't work" Deidara said. "That doesnt give me the stimulation that I need."

There was silence in the room for a moment. _Will it ever be possible for me to please myself without Sasori?... _Deidara thoght to himself.

Suddenly the right hand spoke "Hey I have an idea," It said.

"Yeah? What is it?" Deidara replied.

"Why dont you shove a lamp up your ass."

Deidara paused. His hand was suggesting that he shoved a lamp up his rear. Wouldnt that be painful? Was it even possible to fit a lamp up his Gay Ass?

"A lamp..?" Deidara repeated. "Yeah, a lamp." The right said "Up your gay ass."

Deidara glanced at the nightstand next to his bed to where the lamp was. "That lamp?" He asked as he grabbed it with a doubtful expresion. "Yes." The right hand said. "That lamp. Shove it up your ass."

Deidara wondered if it was a good idea to stick foreign objects up his anus. The left hand must have noticed that Deidara was doubting himself so it spoke up.

"Just imagine Sasori's the one shoving it up" It said helpfully. Those few words were all Deidara needed. He quickly undid his pants and boxers and held the lamp tightly.

He crushed the lamp shade so that it would be easier to fit. Chuckling like a mad man, Deidara shoved a lamp up his ass.

It felt like nothing he had ever felt before. It was painful yet delightful at the same time. Deidara savored the moment.

"You should plug the lamp in!" The left hand suggested. It was a bit Hard for Deidara to move considering he had a lamp up his ass, but somehow he managed to get up and plug in the lamp.

The moment the light bulb light up Deidara felt his insides heat up. It was a numbing warm sensation and it felt amazing. Deidara grunted in pleasure.

Deidara pushed the lamp deeper up his ass. He was filled with even more bliss. Why hadn't he tried this sooner? Who needed sasori when you had a lamp.

Deidara wanted the lamp to fill him even more. "No homo.." Deidara grunted as he shoved the lamp deeper up his ass so that only the bottom of the lamp was visible.

The lamp was like heaven inside of him. He wished it would stay ligt up inside of him forever. "I l-love you Lamp-kun.." Deidara whispered.

Deidara was getting Harder from the lamp warming his insides. He needed more stimulation...But how? He already had a lamp up his ass...how much kinkier could he get?

Deidara came up with an idea. He would use two lamps. He grunted and painfully walekd over to the other side of the room where another lamp rested.

He stroked the lamp's bulb sensually. "Your touch is so..warm..Lamp-kun.." He whispered in a longing voice. Deidara then proceeded to attempt to shove the top of the 2nd lamp up his ass. But then out of nowhere, Deidara heard the door open.

Deidara felt like such an idiot. He had forgotten to lock his door when he was doing the sexy times...what a fucking idiot.

Deidara looked at the door and there stood a terrified red haird puppet twink watching in horror as Deidara shoved a second lamp up his ass.

"Deidara! What the fuck are you doing?!" Sasori said in a tone of disbelief.

Deidara didn't know what to say. "Danna? W-what are you doing here?"

Sasori turned his head to the left so he wouldnt have to look at the blond bomber in such a sight. "After I friendzoned you I thought about it for a little and realized that I wold want to give a relationship a try.." Sasori said "..but now..I don't think so. I wouldnt be able to handle being around someone who spontaneously shoved lamps up their ass.".

Sasori stood at the door for a moment before turning around and exiting the room.

Deidara was in disbeliefe. "Sasori! Wait! I can explain!" Deidara said, but it was too late. Sasori was already far away from the door.

Deidara slammed his fist down in anger. He had blew his only chance with the guy he liked.

Silence fell over the room for a moment. "You always have the lamps..." the left hands said.

Deidara smiled. Of course. He almost forgot about the lamps. They would always be with him...and they would always be there to please him. He didn't need that stupid puppet. He loved lamps and he always would after that day.


End file.
